Dame Edna announces The Queen (2002)

On 3 June 2002, during ’Party at the Palace’ to mark the Golden Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth II, Her Majesty’s arrival was preceded by an introduction from Dame Edna Everage (with Sir Leslie Colin Patterson getting a look-in, too). DAME EDNA: “Hello, possums! Hello, darlings. I loved those Beach Boys. Didn’t you? I love the beach. I can still feel the sand in my crevices. I can. Possums, I didn’t want to be the climax --- I didn’t want to be the climax of the show tonight but that’s what’s happened. It’s a very great honour for me to be here to introduce our hostess tonight. And this evening, there’s a little, spooky story attached to this show tonight. About a year ago, they approached me to have this concert in my own back garden in Melbourne, in my lovely home in Moonee Ponds. And I didn’t think of myself. I thought of my lawn, because I have a lovely lawn - my late husband used to water it about five or six times every night - and I said no way because I’m a little bit of a ’NIMBY’: Not In My Back Yard. Call me old-fashioned. But I wracked my brain to think of someone else; another housewife that I knew, who had a centrally located residence with a backyard big enough for twelve thousand people. And guess whose name popped into my head? Yes! Well, I e-mail her. We e-mail each other because our names begin with E, so it’s very, very easy. And in a heartbeat, she said yes. She’s always had difficulty with the word ’no’. And so, the rest is history, possums... Oh, I’m sorry. There’s an Australian gatecrasher. Who could it be? Who could be so pushy? I mean, is it Russell Crowe? Is it Rolf? Is it Clive? Is it Germaine in drag? Let’s see what the security cameras tell us. SIR LES: Edna! Let me in! Let me in, Edna! If you’ve got any influence with the royals, please use it now. It’s Les Patterson, the Australian cultural attaché... Look, if I get kicked out of this party, it’ll be in all the newspapers. And you know whose newspapers. Besides, Edna, Betty Britain will be very disappointed if I’m not there tonight. So, please, Edna, let me in. I mean, a substantial part of my anatomy is already through the railings, and boy, is it painful... DAME EDNA: Terrible. Please, don’t judge Australia by that horrible man. But I think we have some very exciting news now. The Jubilee Girl is here, possums! What a coincidence that we both arrived at the same time! Isn’t that spooky? Well, just as the show is getting into full swing, are you sitting comfortably now, are you, ma’am? That’s lovely. I should warn you the show is a little loud. In fact, you might enjoy it more at Balmoral. It’d still be deafening in Windsor, I’m afraid... Do you remember the ’60s? I mean, who does? They say that those of us who remember the ’60s weren’t a part of the ’60s or something like that. But we’re going to have some classic hits of the ’60s now. I would like to welcome Rod Stewart... Joe Cocker... Ray Davies... and to start us off, my godson: Eric Clapton!