Time to boldly go where no man has gone before!
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Story by Tom Small and Regina Nigro
Written by Tom Small with Mark Douglas
Music by Mark Douglas and Jake Chudnow
Vocals by Mark Douglas
Direction, Costumes and Graphics by Tom Small
Yellow Nerd: Erik Beck
Red Nerd/Evil Droid: Tom Small
Moon Queen: Ami Lynn
Moon Warriors/Gym Girl: Lauren Francesca
Moon Face/Jock: Mark Douglas
Goth Girl: Regina Nigro
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LYRICS
uh, uh, yeah, yeah, this is a sad jam. Yeah.
I was feeling no love from the girls in gym class;
In the locker room, I’m getting wedgies up my ass.
So we built a ship one afternoon
and my buddy and left for the Moon.
We landed hard on an alien shore-
Gonna boldly go where no man’s gone before-
We met some alien babes! They were hot and lean,
We were the first earth dudes they’d ever seen.
Walked up to the queen and said with a smirk,
“His name’s Chewie. I’m Captain Kirk.“
Then we started to party with the whole platoon,
and now I’m in love with a chick from the Moon.
So he asked her to the junior prom
as they strolled across the dunes
(strolled across the moon dunes)
He wants to take her home to meet his mom,
his girlfriend from the Moon.
The party got crashed by some evil droids,
They were pumped up on Ass-Steroids.
One grabbed my princess by the hair
and said
“I’m taking this one to my robot lair.“
“Excuse me sir, but she’s spoken for!“
“I’m gonna knock her up with my robot spore.“
“First we do battle with video games.
I’ll school your ass- yeah, what’s my name?“
For hours I pwned that robot thug.
We played Galaga, Frogger, and even DigDug.
Cmon man, let’s go again. Best out of five. Can we switch controllers?
Now I’m drinking the nectar of the gods
Yikes- What are those strange pseudopods?
I think I’m having an asthma attack!
I went for my inhaler, and never went back.
I flew back home and I wrote this tune,
and now I’m missing my girl from the Moon.
Why the hell did he leave her?
Now he feels like such a goon
(feeling like a moon goon!)
I guess he got sorta skeeved by
his girlfriend from the Moon.
I’m so sorry that I broke your hearts
when I ran from your alien lady parts
Now I’m back at school getting hung on a shelf
They’re grabbing my hand, saying “Don’t hit yourself.“
I’m slurping down life from a bitter spoon,
and missing my girlfriend from the Moon.
...from the moon...
Graknia, if you can hear me out there, I’m sorry. I just freaked out. It’s not you, it’s me. (It’s not you it’s him) This pain I’m
feeling is worse than I felt after seeing the Phantom Menace. (The Phantom Menace really sucked... except for Darth Maul) I just was intimidated by your three vaginas. (Larry, Curly and Moe) I would fight all the Orcs in Mordor just to have you back. In space, no one can hear you cry. (boo hoo hoo... this is f**kin’ nerd shit)
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