The Only Funny White Man - Full Alpha Stand Up Comedy Special - Geoffrey Asmus

Hello fellow alphas. Welcome to Geoffrey Asmus’ first stand-up comedy special, “The Only Funny White Man.” This is the first 100% alpha stand up comedy special ever released. Others have tried, but none have succeeded. Congratulations on witnessing history. The stand up comedy special was filmed in front of my parents in Minneapolis, the greatest city in America, at Sisyphus Brewery. I’m trying to type stand up comedy as much as I can for the almighty algorithm. In this stand-up comedy special I answer all of society’s pressing questions - Are dogs sexy? Do we need Democrats? Should abortions be mandatory? Can Lutherans enter into heaven? Why do people go ice fishing? And most importantly - Why are betas allowed to live? Also please keep in mind that I don’t believe almost a single thing I say in this stand up comedy special. Except that I h*te Lutherans. As always. Please comment whether you liked or hated this stand up comedy special. As a sacrifice to the almighty Algorithm, may she ever rule over our pathetic lives. All your help means a lot and thanks for going along with me on this stupid comedy journey. Filming this cost me far too much. A man can only give away free content for so long before he has to return to dog walking in Brooklyn. Please Paypal - or Venmo - #GeoffreyAsmus #StandupComedy #Comedy #Standup #funny #alpha Written & Performed By: Geoffrey Asmus Directed By: Jesse Chieffo Edited & Colored By: Jesse Chieffo Filmed At: Sisyphus Brewery in Minneapolis, Minnesota Music: “Rock N’ Roll Machine“ and “Island Man“ by Family Business More from Geoffrey Asmus: Subscribe for daily jokes and a new special early next year with better material Instagram: Watch and listen to my weekly podcast “You’re An Idiot” with Alex Dragicevich - New episodes every Monday on YouTube Join our Patreon for weekly bonus episodes: I’m touring all over the nation this fall with an almost entirely new hour. Buy tickets to an upcoming show here: Sign up for my Mailing List to find out when I’m performing near you: Comment where I should tour next. Love to all my betas. :08 Intro :22 The Sign :47 The Parents 1:20 The Haircut 1:40 The Weather 2:25 The Bathroom 3:08 The Civil War 3:43 The Bar Specials 4:25 Ice Fishing 5:52 The Girlfriend 6:37 The One Black Guy 7:19 Dirty Talk 8:10 Cumming Right On Time 8:45 King of Sex 9:10 Girlfriend Meeting Parents 9:53 Black Girlfriend 10:45 Komanda 11:55 Geoff With A G 13:09 Dogwalking 14:45 Anyone in College? 15:10 Storming the Capitol 16:10 The War In Ukraine 17:05 True Crime 18:11 Anthropology Degree 18:50 Religious Studies Degree 19:10 Lutherans 20:32 Raised Religious 20:49 Hot Cousins 21:37 The Catholic Prayer 22:30 My Mom 23:19 Recognizing Audience Member 24:30 Body Positivity 26:55 The One Impression 28:25 Doing Shows in Small Towns 29:03 Small Town Parks 29:30 Small Town Racism 29:53 Small Town Festivals 30:35 Every Small Town Hates Another Small Town 31:28 Bad Tattoos in Small Town 32:00 Mocking Rural America 33:16 New Yorkers Suck 34:00 The Neighbors 35:40 Abortion 37:51 I Know All The World Capitals 42:20 Choke S*x 43:30 Fingering 44:30 The Cl*t 45:00 My Pen*s 46:40 Conception 47:35 The Big Closer