Eminem Criminal Official Video

A lot of people ask me, stupid ****in’ questions A lot of people think that, what I say on record Or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life Or that I believe in it Or if I say that, I want to kill somebody, that I’m actually gonna do it Or that I believe in it Well, ****, if you believe that Then I’ll kill you You know why? Cause I’m a criminal! Criminal You god damn right I’m a criminal Yeah, I’m a criminal My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge That will stab you in the head Whether you’re a *** or les’ Or the homo-sex, hermaph’, or a trans’a’vest’ Pants or dress, hate fags? The answer’s “yes“ Homophobic? Nah, you’re just hetero phobic Starin’ at my jeans, watchin’ my genitals bulgin’ (ooh!) That’s my **********in’ balls, you’d better let go of ’em They belong in my scrotum, you’ll never get hold of ’em Hey, it’s me, Versace Whoops, somebody shot me! And I was just checkin’ the mail Get it? checkin’ the ’male’? How many records you expectin’ to sell After your second L.P sends you directly to jail? Come on! relax guy, I like gay men Right, ken? give me an amen (amen!) Please lord, this boy needs Jesus Heal this child, help us destroy these demons Oh, and please send me a brand new car And a prostitute while my wife’s sick in the hospital Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher You can’t reach me, my mom can’t neither You can’t teach me a goddamn thing ’cause I watch t.v, and Comcast cable And you ain’t able to stop these thoughts You can’t stop me from toppin’ these charts And you can’t stop me from droppin’ each March With a brand new C-D for these ****in’ retards Duh, and to think, it’s just little ol’ me Mr. “Don’t give a ****,“ still won’t leave [Chorus: x2] I’m a criminal Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it’s a crime To tell em what’s on my mind, I guess I’m a criminal But I don’t gotta say a word, I just flip ’em the bird And keep goin’, I don’t take **** from no one My mother did drugs, tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speed The baby came out, disfigured, ligaments indeed It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she Don’t dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me I’m a criminal ! An animal caged who turned crazed But how the **** you supposed to grow up when you weren’t raised? So as I got older and I got a lot taller My **** shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger I drink more liquor to **** you up quicker Than you’d want to **** me up for sayin’ the word My morals went, when the president got oral Sex in his oval office on top of his desk Off of his own employee Now don’t ignore me, you won’t avoid me You can’t miss me, I’m white, blond-haired And my nose is pointy I’m the bad guy, who makes fun of people that die In plane crashes and laughs As long as it ain’t happened to him Slim shady, I’m as crazy as em- Inem and Kim combined the maniac’s in Replacin’ the doctor cause Dre couldn’t make it today He’s a little under the weather, so I’m takin’ his place (mm-mm-mm!) oh, that’s Dre with an A.K to his face Don’t make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place I told you Dre, you should’ve kept that thing put away I guess that will teach you not to let me play with it, eh? I’m a criminal Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that ************ Get the **********in’ money and get the **** up outta there Aight I’ll be right here waitin’ on you Aight Yo ’em What?! Don’t kill nobody this time Aw’right, god damn, **** How you doin’? Hi, how can I help you? Yeah I need to make a withdrawal Okay Put the ****in’ money in the bag ***** and I won’t kill you! What? oh my god, don’t kill me I’m not gonna kill you *****, quit lookin’ around Don’t kill me, please don’t kill me I said I’m not gonna ****in’ kill you Hurry the **** up! {boom} thank you! Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it So I’ll be disguised in it And if anybody identifies the guy in it I’ll hide for five minutes Come back, shoot the eyewitness Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business Die, *****es, bastards, brats, pets This puppy’s lucky I didn’t blast his *** yet If I ever gave a ****, I’d shave my nuts Tuck my **** in between my legs and cluck You **********in’ chickens ain’t brave enough To say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut ****, half the **** I say, I just make it up To make you mad so kiss my white naked *** And if it’s not a rapper that I make it as I’m a be a ****in’ rapist in a Jason mask