Biden names Trump his Vice President, calls Putin president of Ukraine

Biden’s glorious comeback special didn’t go as smoothly as he’d hoped. Thursday’s high-stakes press conference in Washington DC was called following increasing fears over his mental health and calls for him to step aside, and was supposed to silence his critics. And there was a kind of stunned silence, but not the kind he’d been hoping for. The day hadn’t started well for Biden - during an earlier event, he’d introduced President Zelensky as ’President Putin’ in a toe-curling faux pas that would have broken more self-aware men. Undeterred, he soldiered on to the evening’s presser, where he proceeded to sing the praises of ’Vice President Trump,’ claiming that ’she’ was ’qualified to be president.’ His team, on hearing this, transformed into the human version of the Curb Your Enthusiasm closing theme. ’VP Trump’ didn’t miss the opportunity to poke fun at his nemesis. ’Crooked Joe begins his ‘Big Boy’ Press Conference with, ‘I wouldn’t have picked Vice President Trump to be vice president, though I think she was not qualified to be president.’ Great job, Joe!’ wrote Trump on social media. Asked for his thoughts on Trump mocking his gaffe, Biden simply said, ’Listen to him,’ which was accidentally the most profound thing he’d said all day.