I Will Derive!

I parody of “I Will Survive“ that I did with a couple of my friends for our Calculus and Physics classes. Lyrics: At first I was afraid, what could the answer be? It said given this position find velocity. So I tried to work it out, but I knew that I was wrong. I struggled; I cried, “A problem shouldn’t take this long!“ I tried to think, control my nerve. It’s evident that speed’s tangential to that time-position curve. This problem would be mine if I just knew that tangent line. But what to do? Show me a sign! So I thought back to Calculus. Way back to Newton and to Leibniz, And to problems just like this. And just like that when I had given up all hope, I said nope, there’s just one way to find that slope. And so now I, I will derive. Find the derivative of x position with respect to time. It’s as easy as can be, just have to take dx/dt. I will derive, I will derive. Hey, hey! And then I went ahead to the second part. But as I looked at it I wasn’t sure quite how to start. It was asking for the time at which velocity Was at a maximum, and I was thinking “Woe is me.“ But then I thought, this much I know. I’ve gotta find acceleration, set it equal to zero. Now if I only knew what the function was for a. I guess I’m gonna have to solve for it someway. So I thought back to Calculus. Way back to Newton and to Leibniz, And to problems just like this. And just like that when I had given up all hope, I said nope, there’s just one way to find that slope. And so now I, I will derive. Find the derivative of velocity with respect to time. It’s as easy as can be, just have to take dv/dt. I will derive, I will derive. So I thought back to Calculus. Way back to Newton and to Leibniz, And to problems just like this. And just like that when I had given up all hope, I said nope, there’s just one way to find that slope. And so now I, I will derive. Find the derivative of x position with respect to time. It’s as easy as can be, just have to take dx/dt. I will derive, I will derive, I will derive!