“The Gospel According to Lauren“ (Boebert) satire

Recently, Lauren Boebert hinted that Jesus, had he been better armed, could have skipped that whole dying for the sins of others nonsense. Interesting how, while the Bible says God created man in His own image, Lauren has created a Jesus in her own image. Seems Lauren is either pretty damn talented for a high school dropout, or she is getting out over her skis. Mangy Fetlocks just creates songs in his own image. The lyrics to this one are found below. Lauren Boebert said that Jesus might be still alive today if he’d taken time to pack himself a gun. His blessed pistol he could have dubbed, “The Chosen One”. He could have picked off Roman soldiers just for fun. Lauren dreams of Jesus saying, “Make my day” stead of wimpy stuff like, “Blessed are the meek”, or that thing ‘bout how you turn the other cheek. Lauren hates Jesus as liberal and weak. Lauren’s Jesus is a Jesus skilled at kickin’ ass. Lauren’s Jesus drives a 4 X 4. Lauren’s Jesus scored down near the