Chinese space rocket falls on populated area

The China National Space Administration (CNSA) announced on Saturday that it had ‘successfully launched’ a French-Chinese astronomical satellite into orbit. Most of it. One of the booster rockets, having successfully done its part of the launching, veered into a populated area and nearly landed on dozens of terrified Chinese villagers. The rocket plummeted somewhere into the ‘danger zone’ for debris, which included the populated Guiding County in Guizhou, sending it extremely close to a small village, billowing sickly orange smoke as the last remains of its nitrogen-based oxidizer burned away (no, for once it’s not Just Stop Oil). The booster impacted into a road somewhere outside of the village, with no reports of injuries or damage to property (other than some stained underpants, probably). As for the satellite itself, it’s set to study gamma ray bursts for the next three years, although the residents of this one Chinese village are going to hope it’s a roaring success, so they don’t have to send up another one.