Cartman, PC Principal, Randy, Demi Lovato, and Steven Seagal perform a touching musical number about having a safe space.
“Safe Space“ S19
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INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
Cartman is walking down the hallway, now looking all
groomed and dressed up as he flips through pages.
CARTMAN
(singing)
Everyone likes me and thinks I’m
great in my safe space.
Steven Seagal superimposed-
STEVEN SEAGAL
(singing)
My safe space.
Cartman is sitting at a restaurant as a tired Butters hands
him pages that he flips through with a smile.
CARTMAN
(singing)
People don’t judge me and haters
don’t hate in my safe space.
SHOT - BUTTERS at his desk computer going through
everyone’s accounts and typing furiously. He has STACKS of
papers on his desk. He’s overloaded. PC PRINCIPAL IS
SUPERIMPOSED OVER THIS.
PC PRINCIPAL
(singing)
Your safe space.
STAGE - Cartman is in some kind of framed cube structure
with a false window and door. This image drifts through a
black frame.
CARTMAN & SEAGAL
(singing)
Bully-Proof windows. Troll safe
doors.
Seagal drifts through in a similar structure.
CARTMAN & SEAGAL
(singing)
Nothing but kindness in here.
Now Randy drifts through in the foreground.
RANDY
(singing)
You might call me a pussy, but I
won’t hear you in my safe space.
STEVEN SEAGAL
(singing)
My Safe Space.
CARTMAN
(singing)
Bully-Proof Windows.
Demi Lovato standing in a black void.
DEMI LOVATO
(singing)
If you do not like me, you are not
allowed in my safe space.
Now a light comes up and we see the Plus Sized Models all
behind her to sing-
PLUS SIZED MODELS
(singing)
My safe space.
PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - A shot of PC Principal taking papers
from tired Butters and handing them to Vin Diesel.
PC PRINCIPAL
(singing)
Look and you will see there’s a very
select crowd in your safe space.
Steven Seagal lying in bed, smiling, with his arms behind
his head.
ALL
(singing)
My Safe Space.
Shot of Cartman in his floating structure.
CARTMAN
(singing)
People that support me.
WIDE SHOT of nine people in their floating structures.
CARTMAN AND EVERYONE
(singing)
Mixed in with-
Back to just Randy in his-
CARTMAN
(singing)
More people that support me.
CARTMAN AND EVERYONE
(singing)
And say nice things.
Cartman in his structure.
CARTMAN AND EVERYONE
(singing)
Rainbows all around me. There is no
shame in my safe space.
Randy in his.
RANDY
(singing)
My safe space.
CARTMAN IN HIS-
CARTMAN
(singing)
Bully-proof windows....
The music changes and a sinister looking man creeps onto
the screen.
REALITY
(singing)
I am going to TEAR DOWN your safe
space! Brick by Brick I shall SMASH
IT WITH GLEE!
CARTMAN
What? Who is that?!
REALITY
(singing)
You cannot stop me from getting
inside! I am cold and I am hard and
my name... Is REALITY!
Everyone runs up to Cartman-
DEMI LOVATO
Oh no, not Reality! Somebody stop
him!
CARTMAN
I’ll take care of him, Demi!
SHOT- Cartman shooting lighting from his fingers towards
camera.
Wide front shot - the singers are all zapped into
theatrical outfits, dancing towards camera.
CARTMAN AND EVERYONE
(singing)
You can’t ruin our lives, Reality!
CARTMAN
(singing)
Our safe space will keep you out!
REALITY
(shielding his eyes)
DRAT!
CARTMAN AND EVERYONE
(singing)
We can face almost anything-
CARTMAN
(singing)
But Reality we can do without!
REALITY
Noooooooo!!!!
Reality fades away. Cartman steps into a spotlight then
more of them do (Like Chorus line). Everyone is back in
their original clothes.
CARTMAN
(singing)
Bully Proof Windows-
ALL
(singing)
Troll safe doors. My SAFE
SPACEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
CARTMAN
(spoken)
That was nice...
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